Week 3 – Filler

Week 3 is come and gone and really it served like a bad middle novel in a trilogy series. Just Filler.

Easter came and I did my best to eat Paleo, but didn’t beat myself up when I had dessert. Perhaps I should have, though, because I gained FIVE POUNDS!!! I seriously would have to have embarrassed myself to gain that much weight in 2 days. I asked Stud to confirm if I ate crazily and he seemed supportive of the fact that I didn’t – assuring me it must be water weight (he also wants to live a long healthy life and doesn’t fall into traps). I might agree with him since I’ve returned to eating paleo (except I was so disheartened I now allow myself to use butter in cooking. I know, even when I cheat I’m ridiculous) I have lost 1 of the pounds. I increased exercise too last week and didn’t see any benefits EXCEPT that my heart rate showed improvement.

I don’t feel like writing much more on the subject and am really only finishing the challenge in hopes of knocking the 4 lbs back off and enjoying the fact that I didn’t have to actually meal plan since it was all planned for me.

I will state that I’ve switched from almond flour to coconut flour – but I’m sorry, the paleo pot pie topping is still kind of gross to all of us. Just make the inside part – it’s really tasty. Also, since I did consume non paleo foods this weekend I was able to clearly see that pasta/breads cause me to have almost instant indigestion. I also felt bloated, gassy, and dehydrated. So dehydrated. I’ve really benefited from the water drinking schedule.

ALSO: I made Paleo Mexican Chocolate Cupcakes (http://robinssweetconfessions.com/wp/mexican-hot-chocolate-cupcakes-gluten-free-and-paleo/) and with a few tweaks they were better then some regular chocolate cupcakes I’ve had!! I will definitely make them again!  I used coconut flour instead of almond, used butter instead of coconut butter (no regrets!),  dark chocolate cocoa powder, no cayenne (b/c gross), and used half the vanilla in the icing. CRAZY moist and GOOD! 

I have a new theory for my sleep issues that I think couples with my body’s commitment to not losing weight. Apparently, MTHFR (unfortunate acronym) runs in my family (2 siblings have it) and I’m going to see if I can get tested for it next week. If I have it, which, of course, I think I do (because I once convinced myself that I had a tumor on my pituitary…you can shake your head now) it could explain all my ailments that have really flared up since having tiny humans. It would also explain why my body responds quickly to paleo type diets as it’s the recommended diet for MTHFR’s  (I mean, really?! I giggle at that name every time). Yet, again, I could just be a quack who can’t face that maybe it’s just been a crazy hard 2 years and that alone could cause my problems.

Or I’m just a mother f—ing MTHFR.

Ok. I’m slightly ashamed at that one. But only slightly.

Oh, snap.

Frankly, the last two days of parenting have been rough. I’ve got a a nine month old who wakes up just as much as the 5 day old next door, a toddler who whines incessantly and makes Ghandi and his fasting look like amateur work, and a preschooler that negotiates with every breath. Some days I feel like I can’t breathe from the noise and the chaos and that I’m simply not getting through to them. Which leaves me wondering, am I doing any good here? Am I pointless? Do they love me? If they loved me wouldn’t they want to try and be better? Wouldn’t they listen? Or see how their actions hurt me and others? Are disrespectful? I sometimes wonder if all people with the main love language of “acts of service” struggle heavily with small children. For example I “feel” most loved when someone does something to make my life easier such as put the dishes away, so when a child dumps cheerios all over the floor after I *just* picked up the last spill and vacuumed…it can feel soul crushing.

Obviously, you can see from the above paragraph that there is a lot of selfishness that I’m still working through — / — kids are intense and I’m human. Needless, to say last night I was in my all too usual foul mood when I overheard Stud reading to the Admiral from the Jesus Storybook Bible. He was reading the story of Leah. For those less familiar: Jacob came to work for a guy who had 2 daughters. The eldest, Leah, wasn’t easy on the eyes, and the younger, Rachel’s milkshake made all the boys come to the yard. If you know what I mean. So Jacob works hard for the Dad for seven years to marry, obviously, the hot one, because he’s a dude. Maybe he was in love with her too…but let’s be honest, she was hot. Come wedding day, Jacob channels his inner fraternity brother, gets married to a veiled “Rachel,” and parties hard. Except, it wasn’t Rachel under the veil but Leah. So he sleeps with veiled “Rachel” – which proves it IS sexy to show less – wakes up the next morning next to non virgin Leah…and is horrified. Dear ol’ Dad then graciously let’s Jacob work another 7 years to finally marry Rachel. This is the original Sister Wives.  Interestingly, even though Leah is the non favored wife, she produces all the babies (except for 2) and it’s through her lineage that Jesus’s line comes from. ALSO can we just point out that even though girlfriend wasn’t the easiest on the eyes…Jacob clearly still has no problems sleeping with her. That always baffled me. I digress.

Anyway, so generally, this story is used to teach a variety of lessons, but specifically that God shows love and favor to Leah over  Rachel. Leah receives and accepts this love and eventually finds satisfaction and fulfillment in life because of this single fact. She doesn’t need the love of Jacob to feel loved and fulfilled…or even happy. It’s a great lesson to cling to as a single, in a bad marriage, or even  just a period of struggle in your relationship. SO that’s why I didn’t expect the story to SLAP ME IN THE FACE. Hell-O, SELF! I DON’T need to feel love and respected by my kids to feel happy, love, and fulfillment in my life. I’m loved by the King…nothing else matters.

Of course, God never likes to stop there when He’s making a point to me. He’ll bring it up again and again for funsies. Like tonight. One page into my Bible Study homework and it’s talking about how in light of the eternity, or the hereafter, it can change our perspective of our situations – giving us the strength and motivation to choose joy and love in times of hardship. I can’t help but flash back to my Dad’s death. Slam. I can’t sit in church and not think of my Dad for at least a moment. I can hear him singing “here I raise my Ebeneezer” and countless other phrases as I attempt to choke out the words…sometimes I can’t finish the song, and sometimes I sing louder knowing that my voice is rising in unison with him in that very moment as he sings gleefully for all of eternity. Woah. See, my dad’s death really just personified the concept of eternity for me. I understood it in my head, but after he died I understood it in my heart. I (and the rest of us) were created to be in love for eternity and when that love is cut us from in death our souls break, cry, and yearn for the very thing is was created for and was severed from. Death severs us. But the hope of eternity, of a see you again and when I do we’ll be doing what fulfills us the most – worshiping the very being that went through every torturous step of death and then slayed actual death. Rose from the grave. Gave new life. Gave us a hope of a forever – a chance at bliss. When I’m reminded of that reality check, again, I don’t need approval/love/respect from my children to live a happy and fulfilled life.

Yes, I will still demand them to obey and show respect, because that’s my job. But I will stop using them as personal saviors. They suck at it anyway. I mean….The Admiral can’t even snap his pants without the bribe of screen time. Clearly, my survival would be doomed if I relied on them in an apocalypse. But in reality, how unfair of me to do that to them. Now to wake up and remember this all tomorrow. Wish me luck.

30 Day Challenge Week 2: or when humility sets in

Ah. Week 2. The week where humility is taught and bred.

I’ve been down this path before and have forsaken my former Biggest Loser fandom! Which means, I should KNOW better. Week 2 is notoriously low numbers in weight loss and yet I still found myself whining and ready to lose heart when my drunk scale refused to budge.  Aunt Flow was also visiting and, like the heartless wench that she is, she made sure to make it that much harder.

As a result my weight loss was significantly slower and my cravings for chocolate were significantly higher. Humility – 1 Millie – 0! On the plus side I had zero cramping and other symptoms that I typically have. I remained pretty faithful to the diet though and squeaked out another  almost 2lb loss – making it 10 lbs in 14 days (depending on when I last nursed can also throw the scale some). Am I complaining about that as a whole – absolutely not! I’m noticeably smaller and my stomach is much less a deflated balloon (I mean…I did have 3 kids in a short period of time, so what else is it going to look like?). The comments for week 2 were especially helpful when I found myself struggling. Here are some things I learned – apparently, it’s just a tough week to push through for most, NO one really loses weight with Aunt Flow, and numbers won’t ever be as impressive as that first week. It helped to read all that and keep the faith.

I had a couple minor cheats this week. One night I had a glass of wine and 2 bites of an amazing flourless chocolate brownie (containing sugar — interestingly I had a “knife” in the belly feeling on and off that night, possibly sugar?). Then another night I had a glass of wine and one small square of a cranberry-almond dark chocolate bar (no knife feeling). Today I tried a new vanilla almond milk creamer and after drinking it I’ve had the knife in gut feeling all evening (again sugar, which is why I stopped drinking it after a few sips). All that to say, my body has really benefited from the lack of all grains, sugar, preservatives, and highly limited dairy (I still drink dairy in my coffee in public and eat food with butter when served by others).

In the interest of having no personal life filter and  hoping to assist anyone with similar issues, I’m going to share some other positive notables. I’ll try to write it as tastefully as possible. As someone with life long IBS the last two weeks have been some of my best gut days since I can remember. Let’s put it this way – I’m currently super efficient when I go to the bathroom and typically it’s NEVER that way for me (I used to get in trouble as a kid for using too much toilet paper – but I had no choice if I wanted to walk away clean – you can thank me later for that! Plus side I’m the plunger queen. Did I ever tell you about the time I flooded my in-laws entire bathroom at Christmas…?!). Well, now I am in and out with MINIMAL toilet paper need. I finally know how the rest of you all live! I’m seriously wasting my life in that bathroom! Alright. I’m done with that topic. Ok— one last thing. The Charmin toilet paper for sensitive skin (has Aloe) is the best on the market in my opinion. You’re welcome.

I believe I stuck pretty close to her meal plans for the days – if I didn’t I merely switched it around with other days or repeated. The only real differences were that we were served a meal (chicken, sweet potatoes, and a fabulous salad) and I made a quiche that we ate at two different dinners (recipe: http://www.fourteenforty365.com/2014/04/weekend-meal-prep.html?m=1) — I omitted the cheese and miso. The sweet potato crust is a game changer – It’s amazing! Also the turkey burgers I am eating are pre-made gluten free ones. They are awesome and a huge time saver. No regrets even if it’s not as officially paleo.

Exercise was minimum. I had lower energy and was a bit anemic to be honest. I did one 2 mile run and a video but that’s it for official workouts.

My face is not nearly as clear this week – Humility – 2  Millie – 0. And I’ve learned that almond flour doesn’t agree with my system. Humility – 3 Millie – 0.

I’m currently on week 3 and have been experimenting a bit with exercise and will report on that next time…However, we are traveling for Easter and I expect to have to deviate away from the diet some since we are being hosted by amazing family – so food options may be out of my hands more. I may have just ordered an insane amount of larabars for the trip though. I will be the Scrooge McDuck of Larabars. .


Another Post…must be another Diet

Yep. Back on the old dieting horse again. The Spy is 4 days shy of being 9 months old and I’m on day 9 of a 30 day Paleo challenge.  I’ve left you in the dust, sorry — sort of. I also left the two other girls who wanted to do it with me in the dust and started mid month…I’m a jerk and I couldn’t stand how clothes didn’t fit right (being not a 12 or a 14 can prove a challenge, just pick a number body!).

So let me catch you up to speed.

Once again, I had baby weight I was hoping to lose and exercise (I worked with a personal trainer), “general good eating,” and breastfeeding were, once again, doing nothing for me (shakes fists in an endearing way at all those who dropped their weight through the power of milk!). I mean, not fully true since I was able to lose all the weight I put on with the Spy, but I never lost The Professor’s baby weight, b/c, woops, The Spy was on the way. So that’s the skinny on my fat cell populace. In a perfect world I had 30 lbs (give or take a few) to obliterate in a way that wouldn’t sap my sanity that is already sapped and a sign hanging on the door with rental information.

Then I stumbled upon a facebook post where one of the comments contained the link to this 30 day Paleo challenge (http://robinssweetconfessions.com/wp/category/paleo-challenge/page/3/), and just like that time I spotted Stud for the first moment, time stood still and I knew I had found the one.

Check it out. IT is fully meal planned for you (Great for those of us whose minds look like a smashed boiled egg – it’s a real image going around), you get to eat whenever you’re hungry, exercise videos are included if you’re so inclined, and she includes a grocery list for the first 2 weeks. WIN.

I’m officially 8 lbs lighter according to my drunk scale (it’s never in anyone’s favor, so if it’s marking weight loss, it’s legit!). I feel great, ate out twice in that time frame, my skin is clear, my energy most days is decent (for someone who lives on rumors that sleep exists for others), and I’m not hangry. Let me repeat. I’m NOT HANGRY! I’ve done doctor prescribed diets (did I mention I don’t lose weight well despite doctors still advising me to drop it?) and lost LESS weight in the same time frame and was for sure, a scary soul-less woman. Give momma food.

So that’s another thing. I love food. I don’t waste calories on food I don’t love (no binge eating with milk chocolate for me), and I have a deep rooted fear of plain dry chicken. SO my standards are legit. It better taste good and satisfy me and I’m happy as a clam to follow through with a food plan.

I didn’t follow her dinner plans exactly and I would repeat some lunches a good bit. Also I continued to drink coffee with creamer till we ran out (or if I was in public) and now have switched to coconut creamer at home (next up: Almond creamer).  The comments section in the recipes provided alot of answers to questions I had.

Here are the dinners I made (with links)

Day 1: Ham and Bean Soup http://www.food.com/recipe/crock-pot-ham-and-beans-96347

Day 2: Bratwurst Stew, subbed sweet potatoes and added cabbage for St. Patrick’s day. http://www.tasteofhome.com/recipes/creamy-bratwurst-stew

Day 3: Mongolian Beef at a Chinese restaurant, Green beans. Egg drop soup. No rice.

Day 4: Peruvian Chicken, Subbed sour cream for almond milk and vinegar — EPIC. Good. Easy. http://www.onceuponachef.com/2013/01/peruvian-style-roast-chicken-with-green-sauce.html

Day 5: HER actual meal of Acorn Squash – and it was amazing and easy! It will become a regular in our house.

Day 6: Fajita chicken on lettuce, tomato, avocado with salsa and gaucamoli from the amazing resturaunt Chuy’s — and half a margarita that I lost interest in so Stud finished it (he loves me). No Chips! And shockingly, I felt like I didn’t miss out on anything – truly their salad was delish! Remember. I’m a food snob. Totally worth the 45 min drive.

Day 7: One of her meals but not the recommended for the day – Salmon (I added seasoning and a dash of honey)  with sauteed onions, spinach and mushrooms.

Day 8: Leftover brat stew

Day 9: Her actual plan except I put my bacon on the side – and directly into my face.


Exercise: Some morning routines she has listed; using my children as weights leisurely and to, for the love of all that is good and holy, stop the whining; a 2 mile run; and one of the Jillian Michael’s videos she posted (6 week to 6 pack or something).


8 lbs. 9 days. BOO Yah. PLUS I eat bacon pretty much every day. Win. One day I was alloted dark chocolate. Win. The spinach salad was tasty, win! Oh and I’ve noticed that my usual PMS symptoms are FAR more mild then normal – a reaction to less sugar. Everybody Wins with that last one.  Stud even noted I was more calm (risky move, but I love his honesty).

Seriously, this is pretty fool proof people. IF you’re looking for a quick challenge, I highly recommend it, and as you can see, you can still even eat in public if you plan smartly.



(that was the sound of another deflating baby weight fat cell shrinking).

Postpartum/baby products I’m loving

This ain’t my first rodeo, ya’ll and I thought I’d make a list of products that I have found useful for my sanity.

For Baby:

Baby Carriers: I’ve had a few of them. My favorite infant one is the Baba Sling (the moby is a close second if you have time and not a ton of little ones running around maybe?). Baba sling is super fast to use and feels sturdy. I like my Moby in general, it’s just time consuming. Amazing back support though. We have an Ergo that Stud uses with #2 still and it seems pretty decent too. I have yet to try it.

Lounger – seems ridiculous at first. I didn’t use one for #1, but was forced to take one by my sister for #2. She was right. It’s great for babies to sleep in and fits in our bassinet. I suspect they think they are being held. It props them upright to help with reflux/bubbles/sick. Much easier to pack for traveling in the first few months then a pack-n-play. LOVE it.

Halo Sleep Sack – loved this with all 3. #3 is less inclined to swaddling but the gown allows options with it. I love that it won’t ever get untangled and be a possible threat of strangling specifically when baby is older. Miracle Blanket is a close second, but Halo is by far my first choice.

Dr. Brown Glass bottles – We have always needed to supplement in some way, so we splurged with asking for glass bottles this go round – I feel much better about heating them up, etc. Nipple confusion is ridiculous people. At some point they’re going to to go through it unless you can truly exclusively breast feed. I maintain that introducing the bottle from the get go with lots of nursing surrounding has been the easiest way to battle it out. Plus introducing cold formula from the start means you won’t have to be in a pinch for heating bottles out and about in later months.

Joovy ultralight stroller – now that I’ve read the manual I’m all about this stroller. Very easy to use when you know the tricks. Both boys love it. Great storage underneath and good sun shade! It was a great purchase.

Nipple shield – save the tatas. Both babies I used it with had no issue one day telling me they no longer needed or preferred it. The girls got to heal and switching back to no shield was easy. I found that if I put it on for the initial latch that saved a ton of pain, then after a minute or so took it off and relatched – and the second latch was WAY less painful. I used it with #3 just long enough to let the girls heal and both #3 and I found we didn’t care or need it within a very short amount of time. #2 used it for several weeks out of preference but then he got over it on his own. Easy – and the girls were grateful.

Swing that swings side to side. Worth it.


Earth Momma Angel Baby – momma bottom balm: If you are able to not have a c-section I recommend ordering this. I didn’t have it till #3 and it has been super helpful (and I didn’t tear) for relief. I hate sitz baths, and they hurt me like WOAH. So I found balms, sprays, witch hazel pads, ice packs to be the most helpful.

Always Overnight Extra Heavy Flow Pads – Crazy long and reassuring for the first week after delivery. I wore them night and day, then switch to just night with regular pads during the day till unneeded.

Olive Oil – worked as a great sub for Lanolin

Belly Binder of some form- I had some popular brand for #1 and didn’t care for how little it moved/breathed – so annoying I didn’t wear it the full 6 weeks. #2 I used some regular inexpensive medical one I borrowed from my sister (who had a c-section). Moved and breathed way better and gave INCREDIBLE lower back support. Best my lower back has felt after a delivery. #3 I don’t know what’s wrong with me, but I’m not using one and I regret it. the Binders did NOT help with giving me a flat tummy in either instance.

Bravado Nursing Silk Seemless Bra – I have had 4 different brands of nursing bras at least. Target and Motherhoods were all terrible (gave bad shape, hurt, not enough sizes, etc) in comparison to Bravado (you can buy on amazon!). I just measured myself (I’m a crazy not normal size) and bought based off of that and am IN LOVE. Best bra for the price hands down – worth every penny. SO comfortable I might buy another one, good nipple coverage (which I respect that others don’t mind, but personally I desire for my own comfort), straps stay in place. Seriously, in love.

Chiropractic adjustments/massages: Schedule time. Go. Do it. Do them back to back if you can. And if they say they can’t adjust you b/c you have too much relaxin or whatever – fire them. You can thank me later. Dark chocolate and ready made breakfast items would be appreciated. 😉


Because some moments need to be written down

The haze is strong. My brain is non functional (it’s science and there are articles that prove it) and some things need to be remembered.

Stud and I have been married for 7 years now. According to the movies I think we’re supposed to be getting an itch in our marriage about this time. We joke that we’ve protected ourselves by having our 3rd baby in under 3.5 years. So far so (sleep deprived) good.

I went through some self esteem, health issues, and, frankly, postpartum depression after having our first born. I remember being really hard on myself and disappointed that I wasn’t one of those women who “bounced back” after having a baby and wondering if Stud felt cheated.

Alot has changed since then. I’m pretty sure I have the same physical health issues and my body looks exactly like it did after the last 2 births (I never lost any baby weight after #2, but I only put on baby with #3 so I’m literally right back to where I was 6 months postpartum with #2), except now I have a few more stretch marks. But this time I’m ok with my body. I’m not shocked anymore and I’ve come to appreciate it and its quirks. And most importantly, I know Stud still finds me appealing despite the changes.

How do I know? In the countless tiny ways. Or like last night.

As I eagerly slipped back under the covers after finishing a middle of the night feeding, I felt Stud stir. Then his fingertips lightly brushed against my exposed stretch marks and deflated soft belly. Before I would have pulled away embarrassed, or moved his hand to a part I was more proud of, but last night I wanted to remember every moment of his touches.

In the midst of a very non glamorous season in our life, I felt beautiful, valued, loved, remembered, and rejuvenated (oh and for you men, inspired to love him back!).

Our marriage isn’t built up on grand romantic hollywood style gestures. It’s created by countless tiny moments that are easily overlooked or forgotten.  Moments like the one described above are pretty rare right now with us both being exhausted, Stud has some bug that’s really hanging on and he gets up with the boys at 6 am every morning, and of course I just shoved a human out of my body and feed her round the clock.

I don’t know. I just know I need to hold on to that memory. That someday I’m going to find this post and need to be reminded.

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Admiral quotes

March 2014

A sitting in a cardboard boat: Proceed to my room!

A: The B’s are my best friends, and W.

Me: can you count to 3? A: I can count to 10 in the dark.

JULY 2014

A: Sometimes I’m mean because I’m cranky. I’m learning to be less cranky. I’ll be 100 yrs old when I learn not to be cranky. 

A is the hider in a good ol’ game of hide-n-seek. He grabs a large bell and runs clanging to his hiding spot. The Professor laughs at the fun….and A shushes him (while CLANGING) in fear of being given away.

A peering into Stud’s eyes: Your eyes look like flowers. Do they smell nice? Keep your eyes wide open. (Sniffs) yep, smells great!…Why is your nose so big?

Me: A you have to eat one square of your pb&j sandwich to get to go play with friends.
A: This is so terrible. 

A: I’ve got dirt power!!
Friend: Only God has power.
A: Pretend I’m God!

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Pregnant Primal update

25 Weeks Pregnant

Weight gain: +3 from pre-pregnancy weight (according to the very reliable gym scale) according to my drunk scale it’s more like 6lbs. I hate that scale.

Not going to lie, I’m not really primal, just gluten free/LOW carb. Minus all that dark chocolate I stuff my face with.

I’ve been eating a bit more carbs the last few weeks (we had a pizza and pie night to celebrate the first birthday of my dad since his passing). We had a battle of the pies – primal pie vs. Dad’s favorite apple pie. Apple was an obvious win (it is my great-grandmother’s recipe after all – you just can’t beat that), but the primal pie really held it’s own actually. The filling was fantastic actually and I’d love to try it with an oat crumble/crisp type topping next.

Btw – has anyone cooked with coconut sugar instead of regular sugar? How does it compare?? That will probably be my next adventure. On my list this week of experimenting is Chocolate mousse made with coconut milk (vs. tofu or avocado which have been fails – tofu huge fail – yuck!).

I’m really pleased with the low weight gain and hope to keep it in check these last 13-15 weeks. I do like that all my maternity clothes are fitting just fine – if not a bit loose in the legs. I have one pair of jeans I can’t wear anymore but that has more to do with the waist – the legs fit well.

Energy is still very low thanks to sleeping in 45 min increments at night. She sleeps on my bladder at night and when she’s not my back is incredibly achy. I need to figure something out about that. I tried taking unisom and calms forte – and neither are helping me stay asleep. I’m FALLING asleep just fine, though! 🙂 But my digestion is in great health as long as I stay away from ice cream. Ice cream messes me up for a solid 24 hrs – I’m talking painful! So no more ice cream for this girl (SOB!). Sweet Frogs does not have the same effect, thankfully, but I do have some mild indigestion – which seems to be true whenever i eat anything particularly sugary or gluten filled. If I eat my cheats in the morning I seem to be much better though.

I have made it to the gym twice this week! Once I did the elliptical (which leaves me much less achy then the treadmill and I feel like my leg muscles are more challenged – but my heart rate and my sweating are much lower – win some/lose some). I’ve been slacking on my leg and arm routine, but sneak it in occasionally. I did a prenatal water class last night and really enjoyed it. I plan on going back to that, but probably should secure a new tankini top for it…and my bottoms were drooping like crazy (surprisingly) during the more vigorous moves, but luckily, that part was under water. If only my butt were as cute as a naked baby butt. I’m telling you my children run in fear when they’re butt is exposed because I just have to pat it and squeal at the cuteness.

Any tankini top recommendations?? I’d really love to get one that will work both pregnant and not pregnant and isn’t ugly as sin. SIN. I’m in love with Modcloth’s suits…but I usually try to spend about $20 for my suit tops. BUT I’m open to suggestions and higher prices if it will last me longer. Needs to have good support for the girls (I’m talking for real) and not too much cleavage because they are OUT of control. I never had trouble with modesty before but now…I mean it takes VERY little for them to be too exciting. 🙁 It’s all about the balance.

Craving: Oatmeal, dark chocolate covered caramels, chocolate covered strawberries.

Thinking about indulging the oatmeal one soon with gluten free ones.


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Pregnantly Primal DOS

Week 2 is here.


23 weeks Pregnant

Weight gain: 2 possibly 3 lbs

My scale is drunk, so that’s why the weight gain is a bit unclear. I have several sources who can verify this fact. However, it has been landing about 3 lbs all week, so I’m going to say that’s a real possibility.

I’ve added a squat/lunge/pushup/dip/plank (the plank is embarrassing) routine (while holding The Professor for the legs). I like that I can do them super fast, that the Professor laughs through it, etc. I only made it to the gym once this week. 🙁 I prefer going at least 3-5.

I’ve noticed my pants are looser in the legs but tighter in the belly. I’m down with that as my legs and coveted in South American buttox are where I carry the majority of my weight currently (I’m sure my abdomen has hidden stores, but it’s very cutely disguised currently so it’s not on my radar). My arms aren’t too bad thanks to carrying small humans around frequently. And let’s be real, the girls are getting heavy – laughable when I think about how my breastmilk supply is anything but abundant. Perhaps this time will be different? Frankly, I don’t even care. She will eventually be bottle fed out of necessity and I’m going to enjoy nursing for as long as possible and then let it happily, happily go. Did you know that some women have a response to let down that can cause anxiety/sadness/etc…that’s this girl. I thought it was some sort of negative subconscious response from The Admiral’s extremely rough nursing experience…not true. Turns out it’s a legit thing. So, yes, nursing is purely for the health of the baby for me – I get ZERO benefits from it (no weight loss, just weight gain and anxiety…fantastic).

This week I dialed it in some with diet. I attempted to make a primal version of nestle toll house chocolate chip cookies and ONLY subbed the flour with almond flour. It wasn’t a fail, but it’s definitely killed that craving in a bad way. I have since learned that I needed to lower the fat content heavily. Woops.

I don’t remember what I ate…sorry. But I’ve started making a primal smoothie that doesn’t feel filling when you first drink it, but actually was and I wasn’t hungry till next meal.


Smoothie recipe: 1 banana, 1/2 cup of almond milk, 1/2 cup coconut milk, 2 tsp cocoa powder, ice.

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Pregnantly Primal

Anyone who knows anything about the cycles of life knows this: Toddlers are essentially primal cave men…and hormonal pregnant women aren’t far from that either.

So I’m giving in to my hormones and I’ve decided to go Primal “for lent.” Which is a lie. I decided to go primal because I started off this surprise third pregnancy 20 lbs heavier then my second pregnancy and debatably 25-28 lbs heavier then my first…AND lent happened to coincide with the timing.


  1. I wanted to keep weight gain minimal but healthy since I’m already considered overweight for pregnancy. And I DO NOT lose weight from breastfeeding – I gain weight – so any help in that department is a perk.
  2. I want to eat healthy in general and LOVED being primal after I weaned The Admiral.
  3. It’s an anti-inflammatory way of eating so I’m curious if it will help with aches and pains – it also helps with exhaustion.
  4. This is my last pregnancy (in a perfect world!) and the last time to try it out – why not have some fun!
  5. I plan on being primal after pregnancy so why not get my body used to it now, so I know upfront how it will affect my milk supply and there won’t be any crazy adjusting after The Spy comes.

I started yesterday hardcore, which is technically a day early for Lent, but had been cooking and eating almost purely primal the days previous – minus all that cookie dough I consumed. Again, yesterday, I was hardcore.

I started this experiment off with a debatable 6 lb weight gain from my pre-pregnancy weight (it could just be 4…but 2 lbs is a small difference). I can’t remember if I weighed myself yesterday or the day before for the start of this, but this morning I’m back to just 2 lbs above my pre-pregnancy weight.

In other words:

22 weeks pregnant: weight gain 2+

Yesterdays Meals:

Breakfast – Eggs with Cheese, Bacon, coffee with half&half

Snack – 2 handfuls max of homemade trail mix (almonds, cashews, craisins, semi-sweet choc chips)

Lunch – Turkey, mayo, tomato, cheese, pickle (heck yes), salt and pepper on lettuce (instead of bread). Half an apple that the kids didn’t eat. — first time trying a sandwich that used lettuce as the bread – totally enjoyed it – but I also prefer my burgers in lettuce wraps instead of bun.

Snack – Cheese stick

Dinner – Home made beef,carrot, tomato (I didn’t eat the sweet potatoes) stew (which actually may be a slight cheat since I used canned golden mushroom soup). Sugar snap peas with butter (omg…I love sugar snap peas – could have eaten the WHOLE bag).

Dessert: 3 strawberries dipped in semi-sweet chocolate

Snack: Cheese and celery with peanut butter

Beverages: Water all day, tiny glass (2-3oz?) of red wine at night – except I spilled half of it.

Ok. Calm down. Yes, I drank a tiny glass of wine. If #3 comes out with something wrong, of course I’ll feel terrible. However, on my last pregnancy my medical team merely winked like crazy when Michael suggested in front of them I have a tiny glass of wine at night to help me wind down and sleep – it was that or Ambien forever. The Professor (baby #2) is healthy and crazy amazing. I don’t drink every night and I restrict it heavily to a tiny, tiny wine glass with a unicorn on it. I’m an adult. Please, leave your judging at the door, or go drink some wine yourself to help you relax. 🙂

Back to the point of this!

Benefits I’ve seen so far!

  • Aside from the obvious weight decrease (which was probably water mostly) – I feel fantastic on it. I’ve been having some indigestion pretty consistently every day especially in the evenings along with an “off feeling” (nausea, stomach just feels strange, etc). Yesterday, I felt amazing all day. My stomach never felt weird (!!) and I had zero indigestion for the fist time in weeks (!!!). WIN. Also – I didn’t feel bloated or maxed out in the stomach region when I went to bed. I almost felt “non” pregnant. And she was working on her double axles last night so I know she was doing great too. I was pretty tired in the afternoon (I’ve felt more exhausted with this pregnancy in general), but I think that had a bit to do with the fact that Stud and I are sleeping poorly thanks to the Professor having a fever this week. Other then that – my physical stamina was pretty great.
  • The other perk was that despite having cravings it felt really good to be in control and savor the chocolate indulgences I had. Everything was more satisfying. The food was super tasty – and I felt really good about myself (vs the crash after a craving binge). So ended the day feeling the best I’ve felt in weeks and in a good mood!
  • I wasn’t crazy hungry or impulsively binge eating. The food was filling.

We’ll see if this keeps up!

My fears: Finding/remembering easy primal recipes that I enjoy, hit the spo1011027_10101587549529889_1102221092_nt for cravings, and don’t require too much prep OR crazy ingredients. Momma wants to dial this in.

And this guy is saving me from the non primal food by sacrificially eating all of it. Tough life. —->

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